newmoonpriest

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2009-03-29T03:57:21Z

There are a lot of things I don't know about werewolves, even aside from not knowing how to be one. For example, did you know that werewolf gestation can take anywhere from 60 to 300 days? Now I do. It means that this information is werewolves-only for the moment. The tabloids don't get to know until it's impossible to hide.

I'm going to be a father. Barring horrible catastrophe, anyway. I'm excited and terrified and... I don't know how to explain. Focused. I have to be everything I am, better, now. I have to be myself for my wife and child.

I'm still not recovered from the stuff they did to me in Delhi. I'm not sure I ever will recover. I can ignore it for a while if I really have to, by using Amavasya's gift, but I don't want to depend on her strength that way, when I could be making myself stronger. It's just an injury as far as Franky can tell. Nothing to do with my unique way of entering the pack, and it's not genetic (fortunately).

It's funny how, in this new context, a life change I always expected would happen someday--having a child--has become so significant, compared even to the life changes I could never have expected.

Legal marriage should be sometime in the next month. Rev. Taskin will officiate if we can't get to Vegas. If anyone out there is a good photographer, we could use some pictures to "leak" to the press.

Priorities

2009-03-18T19:54:18Z

Even though high-pitched noises still make me want to stuff things in my ears, and even though I'm still not comfortable with a lot of the ethical aspects of my new life, dealing with people has gotten a lot easier. I felt clear-headed the entire time there was a camera pointed at me. I didn't get self-conscious or stutter, even when I had to explain the scars. Compared to Adalbrecht, and even Jonas and Zdenko, human TV interviewers are a piece of cake. They're not trying to get me to slip up. They cooperate. I just have to play along. Besides, Beauty's whole platform is world peace and responsibility coming with power, and I think at this point I can give sound bites on those subjects in my sleep.

Beauty and I are official now. We bought the ring at 5am, in time for her to wear it for the interview. The official story of how we met is so sugary I had to be a little ironic about it when we were explaining. That's totally in character.

I wonder what her fan sites are going to conclude about me. I've got work to do. I'm limiting myself to only checking forum updates every hour or so. My favorite troll so far: "Wasn't there already a beauty and the geek tv show. this guy sux. those scars are fake. i cant believe you guys are falling for it. you can see the place where their peeling!"

I wish, troll, I wish. Damn things still itch. Yeah, they're peeling. It's gross.

Yoko Ono

2009-03-15T05:17:23Z

I don't remember the torture, so don't ask. Or I mean, you can, but I won't say anything useful.

I'm sitting in the living room of Beauty's house in Delhi, talking with Sisu and Beauty and Ynrielle and watching Ynrielle stuff pine needles into open wounds.

My life is really strange, some days.

Anyhow, I'm back, I've got internet, I'll be getting everything back together and working with GM to solve our security troubles. I'll post when I know when my first TV appearance will be. Beauty and I are going public when we hit Chicago.

newmoonpriest @ 2009-02-16T23:27:00

2009-02-17T05:39:59Z

The first of my challengers came today. The confrontation went pretty much like I'd imagined it, except heroesdaughter was there. Kim was never in danger. Her wards work. I had a tense moment or two, but I never really doubted that Amavasya was strong enough to see me through. It was when they gave up on silver and tried to tear me to pieces that I was afraid. Then Kim saved me.

Ynrielle was probably in more danger than either of us. I still don't know whether a werewolf goddess can protect a unicorn.

I did make one decision that has been hard to deal with. I chose not to protect Jonas from the consequences of his attack on Ynrielle. I gave her the choice of taking his life or not, and she chose to kill him. I think I was expecting her not to. Human weakness? Human strength? I don't know. I feel a lot older than I did three days ago. Dealing with the aftermath--talking to Zdenko and his buddies--has helped. Kim helps, too. She snuck up into the kitchen last night and made me hot milk with spices and stuff in it, and she sat up talking to me. We've decided not to date or anything. It's a terrible idea for her. I expected to be disappointed, but I'm more relieved than anything. beauty63477 changed everything.

Note to self

2009-02-12T17:05:16Z

Franky's needs those doors that auto-close. Or something. Sometimes overhearing every conversation that goes on in my building is REALLY inconvenient. Now I have to forget everything I just heard.

Human cultural reference

2009-02-04T03:45:46Z

When the being with powers you can't counter or understand starts messing with you, you don't get angry or fight back or try to be what it wants. GM's backing me in this position by his leaving the decision and the coping to me.

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." I'm a nerd, but it's a more apt reference than anything else I can think of. Capricious super-powered being wants to play games with me? Well, really, I can't stop them. I can just be what I'm going to be anyway. If I let it intimidate me that I'm representing a whole community now, I'm sunk.

Also, it's disturbing that I've developed a freudian typo tic. I keep leaving the apostrophe out of "we're."

Religion?!?

2009-01-26T20:52:56Z

So. Huh. What to say.

I have scars now. I mean, not like, burned my arm on the oven little shiny scars. Like, there's these weird-looking welts across my face and down my shoulders, where I hurled myself against the bars of the cage I was in. They still hurt, about like burns. All my old scars are gone. All I have now are the ones from silver. I look really different. Even when I'm, you know. Me. I haven't magically started feeling at home in the wolf shape. It's the creepiest feeling I've ever been through, being in a body that's not mine. It happens suddenly, too. I mean like you get a little weird-feeling when you're growing, but that's slow. You have time to adjust. I don't know if I'll ever adjust to the wolf shape. The big ugly shape is easier. You know, bipedal and everything. I like being a biped. Werewolves apparently assumed that knowing how to be a wolf was instinct. It's not. I guess there's just never been a werewolf who wasn't a puppy at least some of the time. Learning to smell is going to take FOREVER. Dealing with the super-senses in general is going to be hard. I keep getting distracted by things.

None of this is what I'm thinking about.

I've been atheist since I was ten, when I learned some people believed in God and what that meant. Religion was just another superstition. Then when I got to know Kim--like when we were dating--and I learned that she could really do stuff, you know, I thought there was no reason to believe in God anyway. After all, God doesn't do anything.

I've been called. I saw a vision, and it's strange, because I've been called to serve a goddess I've never heard of. I don't think Amavasya is her name, but it's her title or something. Google informs me that amavasya is the day of the first appearance of the crescent moon--the new moon. Hence my lj name. I saw her first as a human woman in a black dress. She was the new moon, but I don't know why or how I know. I saw her as a wolf, suckling human babies, the mother of Rome. (Again, not sure why. Rome? Huh?) I saw her in big ugly form, except it wasn't ugly. She reached out to carry the whole world. She brought me peace I badly needed. She showed me how to turn my anger against itself, so that I wasn't angry, and how to use my hunger to keep me from needing to eat. I haven't figured out everything she taught me. The lesson keeps unfolding, the more I learn about how to be who I am now.

Beauty turned me into a werewolf because she wants me to be her mate, her alpha male. I thought I was willing to do it. Now I don't know. I'm... I was going to say terrified, but I'm not. I mean, I just turned invincible, compared to how I used to be. I'm shaken. Seeing the face of the new moon changed me more than just becoming a werewolf. Werewolves kind of made sense, you know. They're just things, biology and society and stuff. They couldn't change me inside. I'm taking some time to get to know myself. I'll maintain WN and get into the group, and then see whether I want to help run it. Beauty's really nice. She's been surprisingly okay with all the weirdness.